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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Fairy Tales

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My mom used to tell us fairy tales and stories about princesses. I love the Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen because the little girl in me identifies with the odd duck that didn’t fit in among the beautiful swans. I ate far more than my big sister and was outgrowing her during most of our childhood. As the days went by, the poor ugly duckling became more and more unhappy. My sister didn’t want to play with me because I was so clumsy. I felt sad and lonely because all the others called me “Fat Girl” and laughed at me. “Poor little me! Why am I so different from others” I’d think and felt worse than ever. I secretly wept at night because I felt that nobody wanted me. “Nobody loves me, they all tease me! Why am I different?”

“We don’t know any kid as big and fat as you.” They’d say. Then one day, I ran away from home. Luckily, I was more afraid of what’s out there than what I experienced with my family. I fled as far as I could from this feeling of being the misfit and never felt happy. “If only I could look like them just for one day.” That was what I used to think. I used to believe that I couldn’t be happy with myself because there was something wrong with me. However, I found a coach who saw right through me and empowered me to question my old beliefs. Coaching works because I realized that I am really a beautiful swan just as beautiful as my sisters, but different from them. My mom made me feel ugly by saying that I was fat when I was a child. This is the power of words. I refuse to believe this feeling and let go of my anger toward her and forgive her for the way she conveys her love that comes across as unloving to me.

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