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Monday, May 29, 2017

Lesson 3: Love Your Life

1. I love life and it loves me!
2. I let go of the need for control and trust that life supports my success
3. I create openness and possibilities by creating space.

Do more of what empowers and energizes you. Avoid or do less of what drains you. Simple but it takes practice to love life when there are so many demands and expectations. You are here for a purpose and you matter. We often compare ourselves with others and wish that we were more "beautiful, thin, rich..." We buy into the lie that these trappings will make us happy. I used to think that way before tapping into my inner wisdom. Yoga allowed me to explore and inquire within because it teaches present-moment appreciation. That created a safe space for me to grow spiritually.

I've  always felt that I didn't fit in because my creativity and sensitivity was put down. You see, my parents value the traditional strengths of ambition, competition and winning at any cost. I used to blame them for my unhappiness. If you have parents like mine, realize that they inherited their beliefs and forgive them. I never felt happy about winning when it meant that other people lost. I was in the swimming team and did much better in relays because I wanted my team to win. When I swam by myself against others, I wasn't motivated to push as hard as I could. In classes, I did well and got good grades because I was expected to be a good student. I also didn't feel that internal conflict of "win-lose".

My parents also instilled the feeling of lack in me by comparing me to my older sister who is "a go-getter, smarter and more successful" than I am. My dad used to ask me why I didn't go get a MBA (Master of Business Administration) and when I told him I wanted to be a teacher, he thought I was wasting my time because teachers don't make good money. I didn't know that he placed money above education until he discouraged me and made me question my decision. Now I know that part of the reason why teaching is not as respected or valued is because of the old Domination Model.

We entrust our children to teachers and often take them for granted. Most Americans don't teach their children to respect teachers. It was evident when I first moved here to the U.S from Hong Kong. I was shocked that students could act up and talk back to their teachers in class with no real consequence. One reason why Asian students do better in classes is because we tend to pay more attention and respect our teachers. People often complain about the state of our public education without a closer look at how society devalues teaching. "Those who can't do, teach" is a popular, well-known phrase.I taught for two years but the lack of support from parents, the school and the teachers union caused me to be so stressed out that I got sick a lot. Finally, I had to quit for health reasons.

So before parents send their kids to charter schools or private schools, they need to ask if there is a way they can be involved in their public schools and better support their teachers to improve their children's educational experience. But I digress from the lesson of loving your life. I am learning to do more of what I love daily. I am loving my life slowly but surely. There are still days when I struggle and regress. We all need to focus on what's good in our lives and look on the bright side.
There is too much negativity and that leads to stress. In order to reclaim our sanity and truth, we must love what is showing up and where we are in our lives. I am an affiliate at Nonviolent Communication (NVC). NVC offers a framework to reconnect us to the needs behind our own or another person’s behavior, even in the most difficult of interactions. 

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