This is the thorny, daunting task that I keep procrastinating on because I didn't think that I could ever finish my book. I thought I was wasting my time because no one would want to buy it and read it. I'm so grateful for
Woman Unleashed Retreat because it made me start again after putting it off for so long!
The Anti-aging Secrets of Yoga
I love books. They are always there
for me whenever I need them. In many ways, books are my best friends and
teachers. They provide entertainment, education and empowerment. Oprah Winfrey
who also loves books says this better than I do. "Reading has been among
my greatest passion for as long as I can remember...one of life's most profound
joy is to open a book and learn from its pages, to be astonished, to empathize
and to grow. But there's another category of book, the super-soulful that I
turn to again and again for inspiration, companionship or help in moving from
darkness to light." Her story inspires me and millions of people.
My own story begins with a whimper
because I had middle-child syndrome. I grew up in Hong Kong. Stuck between my
high-achieving big sister and my perfect baby sister, I felt like an ugly
duckling in a family of swans. I was the “Fat Girl” who didn’t fit in. I was
“clumsy” and “stupid”. I was a door mat and a victim of my big sister, the
bully. I thought I wasn’t good enough. That there was something wrong with me.
Why else would she do or say such mean, hurtful things to me? I was a mess of
fears and insecurities. I hated my body and myself. I didn’t deserve to be
verbally and emotionally abused so often that I wished I could die because it
hurt too much. I didn’t feel safe or loved at home. My parents were absent or
clueless since my sister usually waited until they went out before she terrorized
me. She was a bully and I was her convenient, favorite victim. I was an easy
target because I didn’t know how to defend myself. My sister called me a “cry
baby” and said that I was too sensitive when she made me cry while my parents
were home. I was afraid to tell on her because she had threatened to do worse
to me if I did. I poured out my hurt and pain in my diary, I cried myself to
sleep many nights.
The cycle continued until I was fourteen
when we moved to Hawaii in United States. I was older but still insecure. I was
called names and picked on for my accent and skin color. I stuffed down
feelings of anger and shame with food. I binged and purged because my mom told
me to lose weight but I was a junk food/ sugar addict who couldn’t control
myself. I joined the tennis team and started running as part of the training. At
first, I hated it because I was out of breath and the slowest runner. I often got
a stitch in my side and felt like quitting, but I kept at it. Eventually, I
learned to love running and the natural high that followed. I felt in control
and lost over 40 pounds. I felt proud of winning the battle against my body,
but I was still a victim of bullying. Finally, I’ve had enough, so I ran away.
I planned it well. I wrote down my reasons in my diary and left it there to be discovered
after I was gone. I had saved enough money to take the bus to San Francisco. At
that time, we were living in Riverside, a suburb that is east of Los Angeles
(in the middle of nowhere). I woke up at down, put some extra clothes and
snacks in my backpack and walked to the Greyhound bus stop. I bought a one-way
ticket to San Francisco because I did not plan to go back. It was scary and
exhilarating because I felt free and lost at the same time. I didn’t know what
was there for me in this city that’s over 400 miles away, but I knew that my
aunt or grandmother would welcome me if I’d just shown up out of the blue. I
psyched myself up for a new life where I could be loved and accepted for who I
was, not criticized for who I wasn’t. When I arrived in San Francisco,
something inside me urged me to call my parents to assure them that I was okay.
After all, they had no idea where I was or if I was safe. I used a pay phone to
call home. My mom picked up almost immediately. She was crying and asking if I
was okay. She told me that my big sister was so sorry and promised that things
would be better if I returned home. I cried and finally told her how I felt
like they never heard me or considered my feelings. It was one of the few times
that we talked about what’s really important to me. How sad it is that it took
such drastic action to get the people who were supposed to love me to really
listen.
I grew up believing that what I
wanted didn’t matter, that I had to deny my dreams and myself to be loved and
accepted. I wanted to be a writer, but my parents told me to be practical and
stop dreaming. I had to be realistic and responsible. I needed to go to
college, get a job and make money so that I could be happy and have what I
want. Conditioned to respect authority and my parents, I let them decide my major
and my career. I gave them control of my happiness and my life. Outside, I was
like everyone else who had a job, but I was miserable inside. I pretended that
things were fine, but I was never happy. The more I worked, the more money I
made, the more I felt dead and empty inside. I knew what I didn’t want, but I
didn’t know what I really wanted because I had denied my dream for so long that
it felt unreal. No wonder I was a mess. It took many books and coaching
sessions to heal the childhood trauma and wounds that I got through no fault of
my own. I’m so grateful to all the books, coaches, my English teachers and most
thankful to yoga for empowering me to let go of my sad old story and create a
happy one. I’m turning my mess into a message in hope that I can inspire other
people. Everyone has a story and often they feel like a helpless victim in
life. I used to feel that way, but if I can change, so can anyone who has been
called “fat” or bullied. I wouldn’t wish what I’ve gone through on my worst
enemy. but it made me more empathic, more able to relate to kids who have been
abused.
Chapter 1 - Alignment
When
your body is in alignment, you are able to move freely and easily. Yoga is
about union of mind, body and spirit. When you connect with your body and your
breath, the practice of yoga allows you to align with your inner truth or the
Source. We are all spiritual beings, whole and complete, lacking in nothing.
Health, love and happiness already exist within us. There is nothing to do,
nowhere to be. Commit to a regular practice and you will get more than just an
exercise routine.
How do you
practice your yoga? Do you connect with your body and your breath? Do you align
with your inner truth?
Know the truth:
1. You
are not alone
2. You are not
broken and there is nothing wrong with you
3. You are not
unloved or unloveable
“Let
It Go” from Frozen is the song that resonates with me the most. I sing along to
this at the top of my voice with all my heart when something bothers me.
“Let
it go! Let go! Can’t hold it back anymore…Turn away and slam the door. I don’t
care what they’re going to say…It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem
small and the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all. It’s time
to see what I can do. To test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong,
no rules for me. I’m free!...Here I stand
and here I’ll stay. Let the storm rage on…I’m never going back. The past is in
the past! Let it go! Let it go! And I’ll rise like the break of dawn. Let it
go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone. Here I stand in the light of day. Let
the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway.”
What
is the song that resonates with you the most? Play that music. Sing along to it
at the top of your voice! Write down the lyrics that speak to your heart. Whenever
something bothers you, sing that song!
Repeat this
mantra 3 times
“Beautiful am
I, bountiful am I, blissful am I.”
Breathe in
beauty, exhale and let go of anger or resentment
Breathe in
abundance, exhale and let go of lack or poverty
Breathe in
bliss, exhale and let go of stress or anxiety
Keep breathing deeply
Ask
“What do I really want?” If you don’t know want you want, then ask “What’s my
biggest challenge or problem?” Many people want to lose weight at the beginning
of a New Year because they gained weight over the last few months or years. They overate or over-indulged during
the holidays, the past months or years and feel guilty. Ask “Why do I want to change?” “What have I got
to lose if I don’t change?” “If I know that I couldn’t fail, what would I do
differently today to get closer to my goal? I wanted to lose weight as a
teenager because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and that I had to look a
certain way to be loved. Asking
questions is a powerful way to get answers. What do you really want? Do you
want to be healthier? Why? Do you believe that you can look and feel better? Write
down your answers in the journal.
Alignment is the first step to manifest what you want. Be
careful what you wish for because it may not make you happy when it comes true.
I wanted to be thin, but that didn’t make me feel happy or loved. Ask “What makes
me feel happy and loved?” Write down your answer in your journal.
Believe
is the fuel that drives us. B.A.M. Believe. Act. Manifest. Believe in yourself
and your dreams or goals. Ask “What will I do differently today that will
support my goal?”
"One Love" by Bob Marley is the song that inspires me. I sing along to it whenever I'm happy or sad. What is your favorite song? Why do you love it?
Write
down what comes up in a journal after your practice.
Chapter 2
Balance: I used to have bad balance and tended to trip or fall. I've twisted
both my ankles several times. Yoga dramatically improved my balance and allowed
me to hike up 1,000 feet to the top of
Vernal Falls without any prior regular
hiking experience. After each hike in Yosemite, I'd do a gentle yoga stretch.
Every morning, I rolled out my travel yoga mat and did some sequences to
stretch out any soreness or tightness. Someone did trip and hurt her ankle, but
I felt confident and strong, knowing that my ankles would support me.
Did you know that our balance
gets worse as we age? Why does our balance get worse as we grow older? "We lose physical strength and bone
density, our sense of balance deteriorates and we are more at risk from falling.
Alarmingly, this process begins around the age of 25. The reasons for this are varied and complex, but
by understanding them better, we can find ways to mitigate the effects of old
age. With age and inactivity, the
unconscious processes your brain goes through to help you balance may not
integrate as well or as quickly as they used to – in other words, your cognitive abilities decline. As a result, maintaining balance and preventing harmful
falls may require ever greater mental focus and prove more fatiguing." Do the balance test
to see if you need to improve your balance.
As we age, there’s always some new
pain in our bodies. I have been dealing with a nasty backache in my left side that doesn't go away no matter what I've tried. This added to the anxiety and stress I've been struggling with since COVID and the lockdowns. I practiced self-care, continued to exercise, stretch and do yoga, but my back still hurts. Last month, I spent over $300 trying to fix my problem: $100 for acupuncture, $50 for cupping, $100 for CBD products, over $50 for sleep remedies and about $100 to join Forward in order to see a doctor because my Cigna, regular insurance wouldn't let me make an appointment for a Wellness Checkup. When I asked why, the person at the doctor's office said that because I got a checkup in January 2020, I had to wait to get help. I realized that I wasn't asking the right questions. What caused my backache? How did it happen? Why did my back start hurting? When did it start? When I delved deeper into the problem, I realized that it's caused by job-related stress. I felt like a prisoner, chained to my desk while I was working from home. I didn't set healthy boundaries with my supervisor or the people I served. I went above and beyond to help them at a great cost to me. I asked for help repeatedly and didn't get any. I ended up feeling angry, depressed, resentful, stressed and burned out. Finally, I've had enough and handed in my resignation letter on December 3rd. Yet I still let work stress me out. I still try to be too nice at my expense. I was caught up in my old patterns. When they asked me to stay another month because they couldn't find someone to replace me, I said yes but I asked for more help or compensation. My supervisor gave me a $500 bonus, but I realized that she's making $100,000 deals and that bonus is .05% of her sales. As an affiliate, I earn 20% commission so I told her I couldn't stay at my job anymore. She immediately made me feel guilty for standing up to myself. I realized that she's literally a pain in my back and I just decided to end our relationship before her negativity could affect me more.
What part of your body hurts? Did you try everything to fix it to no avail? Ask the right questions and the answer will come to you! What part of your body or life do you need to work on? Choose your weakest part and write down how you really want to feel about that part. What would it cost you if you don't change? What would it feel like if you could have this? Write down your answers in the journal.
Chapter
3
Coordination:
I used to think I was a klutz, often confusing left with right. I didn't think
I could do yoga because I was often on the wrong side. Normally, I'd feel
discouraged and give up, but somehow yoga spoke to me, telling me to be
patient. I kept going to classes regularly and improved my coordination
exponentially. I
still confuse my left with my right but I don’t let that upset me as much as I
used to.
Did
you know that our coordination decreases as we age? “Age-related changes are caused by the loss of
function to multiple areas of the brain. As we age, the neuromuscular
communication in our body isn’t as strong as it was earlier in life. A recent study found evidence that age-related changes in
visual perception may also affect hand-eye coordination. The study showed that
younger people interpret and react to near-body space in a fundamentally
different way than older adults." Healthline.com
"Exercise has been shown to have a positive impact on
hand-eye coordination. A 2010 studyTrusted Source showed
that regular swimming, in particular, may help with this skill. Swimming is a
low-impact exercise, and the repetitive movements may also help with balance. Another
method that may help hand-eye coordination is Tai Chi, a Chinese practice that
involves meditative stretching and balance exercises.” I love Tai Chi and got to practice it online!
https://www.healthline.com/health/hand-eye-coordination#outlook
Chapter
4
Dedication: I never stuck with an exercise routine or a healthy eating habit.
Yoga taught me about dedication. I experienced the physical, mental and
spiritual benefits of a regular practice so that I continue to dedicate myself
to this healthy lifestyle choice.
1.
Find your Why? Why do you want to be healthy?
Dig deep! What would it cost you if you don’t change? How would it affect your
life? If you couldn’t fail, what would you do today to get closer to your
goals?
1. 2.
Connect with like-minded people. Join my free Facebook
group www.facebook.com/fitnesswla
3.
Get help. Be coachable. Schedule a free
15-minute coaching call with me.
Ask your friends to name 3 things that you’re
good at. Then ask what is annoying about you. Write down their answers in your journal.
Often, we don’t like to receive feedback
because we take that as an attack or criticism. It’s a learned response from
our childhood. I believe that almost everyone of us have grown up being criticized
and compared to our siblings. My parents often asked why I couldn’t be like my big
sister. I didn’t have an answer to that and felt like I wasn’t good enough. Though
I’ve healed from the past, this scar is deep and any feedback that is not
positive or supportive triggers me. What triggers you? Write down their answers in your journal.
2.
Connect with like-minded people. Join my free Facebookgroup
Get help. Be coachable. Schedule a free15-minute coaching call with me.
Chapter 5
Energy: Doing yoga in the morning is better than caffeine. It gives you a natural high without the crash and allow you to have energy throughout the day. I incorporate inversions like the head stand and forward fold that brings more blood flow to my face and brain; better than any antiaging cream or lotion. These poses also help relief back pain.
Chapter 6
Flexibility:
I wasn't flexible like most yoginis and I didn't think I could do yoga. Guess
what? You don't need to be flexible to enjoy yoga. In fact, my nickname used to
be "rusty" due to my tight hamstrings and I started from where I was
worked with yoga to increase my flexibility. Yoga helped me realize that there are other areas in my life that need to be more flexible. I tend to be impatient and stubborn like my mom. I can still be impatient and stubborn, but I am more aware of my weaknesses. Awareness is the first step that leads to change.
Start from where you are. Be kind and gentle with your body. No force, no pain.
Don't compare yourself with others. You are unique and perfect. There is just one you!
Chart your progress. Notice how far you can stretch. When you bend over on the forward fold, how far down can you reach without straining? Write down what came up during your practice.
Journaling is a great way to manifest more of what you want in life.
Chapter 7
Gratitude: I appreciate my body and what it does for me. I
am grateful for cooking healthy food that tastes great. I am thankful for all
the benefits of a regular yoga practice that empowered me to fulfill my highest
purpose. Each morning, I write down at least three things that I am grateful for.
“The more you are
grateful for what you have the more you will have to be grateful for.” Zig
Ziglar. Focus on the good and you’ll bring more good into your life. What are
you grateful for?
Write down at least three things
that you are thankful for in your journal.
Chapter 8
Happiness: Being present, enjoying each moment is really
good. It is the secret to lasting happiness. I source joy from every day
experiences and no longer chase after elusive things that brings instant
gratification but do not serve my purpose. I used to stuff down my feelings of emptiness with food. I
bought things that I seldom or never used because I thought having these things
would make me feel better or happier. I used
to be a summer camp counselor at the Y. I was not prepared to lead kids on a
hike. They didn’t train me or prepare me, I led them on a short hike but
listened to them & let them decide to go back early and play games at the
camp. We had a lot of fun being creative, but I was criticized for not
following the curriculum. That was when I decided to quit after the end of camp
and do something more creative with kids. I volunteered at Free Arts for Abused
Children. I loved spending time with the kids, creating all sorts of
artworks. But my dad said I was wasting my time and that I should go back to
get my Master’s degree like my sister. I was a perpetual
job-hopper. I could never stay in a job for long because I felt bored and stifled after a while. I knew what I didn't want but I couldn’t get
what I really wanted because I believed that it was impossible. So, I resigned myself to a mediocre job and a life that was without meaning or purpose. I even went back to college to get my teaching credential because I wanted to make a bigger difference, but our public education is failing our kids. I had a class full of students who were English-as-Second-Language
learners. I was supposed to have an assistant, but never did even when I called
the teacher’s Union for help. I felt like I was failing my students. Finally, I
got tired and burned out, so I quit teaching. I felt guilty and that I failed. I realized that it is the system that is broken and failing.
I’ve been compared to my sisters all my
life and found wanting. I was the dreamer, the underachiever. Little did I know
that I’m special and that there’s only one me. Yoga, reading & coaching
helped me realize that I let my past trap me in a less than ideal life. Once I
declared freedom from my fears & my past, I created Fit- Twist.
Yoga helped me realize that I am enough,
I am perfect and there is nothing wrong with me. When I connect with my inner
truth, I am full. What do you chase after? What makes you feel empty? What really
satisfies you? Write down what comes up in your journal.
Chapter 9
Insight: Yoga encourages you to create space and time to
reflect, to ask deep questions about what is meaningful to you. It empowers you
to find your passion and purpose. My
mission is to empower you to reframe your problems and refocus on your goals so
that you can be healthy inside-out. My vision is to create a sacred space where
everyone feels included, seen, heard, loved, supported, understood and
welcomed. My biggest dream is to rent an island and invite 50 women to a
special year-long retreat where we will dive deep into our inner truths and
collaborate to create win-win.
What is your mission?
What is your vision?
What is your biggest dream?
Write them down in your journal.
Chapter 10
Community/ Belonging: Yoga is all inclusive. Everyone is
welcome regardless of age, race, size, religion, income, status, etc. It's the
great equalizer because yoga teaches that we are all one. I love the yoga
community, Studies show that loneliness is harmful to our health and
well-being. A sense of belonging and community is very important if we want to
be healthy inside out. “No
man is an island, entire of
itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” John
Donne.
I used to be a rebel without
a cause. I didn’t belong or fit in. I was bullied and picked on. So, I swore
that I would never let anyone else hurt me again. I hid behind a wall of
passivity and silence. I resisted change and stayed in my comfort zone. I never
asked for help because I didn’t want to be disappointed or let down by others.
I thought I could do it by myself. I continue to read, journal and practice yoga because it reminds me that I am not alone. Reading, journaling and yoga help you discover yourself. I just realized that I am a Saguaro cactus, thorny outside but so giving inside. Does that resonate with you? Write down what comes up in your journal.
"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." J.F.K said
Write down what community means to you. Ask how can you contribute to this place and feel more involved in it. . Ask what you can contribute to make yourself, your family, your neighborhood, your city and your country better.
Chapter 11
Mindfulness: I was not aware of how much harm I was doing to
my body with my diet and exercise regimes. I have struggled with weight since
childhood and was called "Fat Girl". I was bullied and teased for a
long time. I got sick and tired of being known as "Fat Girl" so I
managed to lose 40 pounds in less than a year. I was thin and I proud of
myself, but I wasn't happy. I didn't feel like I was good enough or thin
enough. I ran every day as part of my high school tennis team and loved the
high that I got afterwards. I ate less, ran more and got a flat belly. Little
did I know that I was anorexic. Finally, my mom made me go see a doctor. I resisted at first, but she guilted me into going. The doctor explained why I needed to eat again. Did you know that anorexia nervosa isn’t a new disorder? That it has
been around since the 12th and 13th centuries? People with anorexia often have a distorted body image and see
themselves as larger than they really are. They often engage in restrictive
behaviors, purging behaviors, and excessive exercise. Anorexia is a serious mental illness with possible life-threatening outcomes. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. Half of the deaths in anorexia are due to complications related to the disorder and the other half is due to suicide. The majority of people with anorexia are female.
Yoga allowed me to get in touch with the hurt
and trauma, to ask for help from a coach and let go of my sad story. I still
tend to be hard on myself, but I catch this bad habit and remind myself to be
kind. Are you mindful of your internal dialogue? Do your thoughts and beliefs
empower you or sabotage you? Are you mindful of what you consume? Do you let
bad news, gossip and negativity affect you? Do you choose food that is
"real, whole and good" for you or do you eat fake fast food because
it's convenient? Be a "Guardian to your mind, body and soul". I agree
with Brendon Burchard and want to share what I learned from him with you. I
love his book The Motivation Manifesto.
It is a resource that I often go to for inspiration and motivation.
Chapter 12
Values: Did you know that Yoga has
Core Values?
·
Inquiry, Safety & Quality.
·
Compassion, Peace & Kindness.
·
Hard Work, Discipline & Commitment.
·
Honesty, Integrity & Service.
·
Optimism, Enthusiasm & Happiness.
·
Acceptance, Healing & Forgiveness.
·
Mysticism, Gratitude & Freedom.
My Core Values are:
1. Creativity
2. Connection
3. Contribution
4. Freedom
5. Purpose
Here are my definitions of these Core Values:
· Creativity: Being in the flow, having fun, imagining a better life/
world, being present to see and share beauty
·
Connection: Being connected to the Divine/ my highest self,
connecting with like-minded women and connecting to nature
·
Contribution: Being of service, making a difference, helping
others and giving back
·
Freedom: Being free to express myself, speak my truth without
fear, to love more and to be beautiful, bountiful and blissful
·
Purpose: Aligning myself with my dreams. Being focused,
following my heart and intuition, Being rooted in the truth that I am a
creative, spiritual soul and I am called to help women reframe their problems
and refocus on their goals so they can be healthy inside-out.
What are your Core Values? Choose 5 to 7. What are your definitions of these values?
My big ask and big dream:
What if I could make Los Angeles into a healthy, open city
like Prescott?
What if I could be the Mayor of Los Angeles? I’d ask others what they
want.
What if I could be the Governor of California? I’d ask for other people's input, encourage them to share
their ideas and be part of the solution.
What would I do? I’d follow the Blue Zones and Prescott.
What if you could make your city into a better one for you and others?
What if you could be the Mayor of your city?
What if you could be the Governor of your state?
What would you do if you know that you cannot fail?
Write down what you'd do in your journal.
I am not finished yet. Let's keep each other accountable. Ask me about my book every day and I'll do the same with your thorny, daunting project/ task. Love is #mywordoftheyear
Join the Breathwork Summit!
Ingrid Cheng
Author, health coach, yoga revolutionary
